crystallinememories

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crystallinememories

Hello! This is Raha's phone. Sorry that I couldn't answer, but leave me a message or text me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

thavnairian

You're always invited to put me in my place. [He laughs again, but this time he means it.] Whatever storm is going on in my head or my heart, you know how to get through to me.

[Despite leading a different life, the Raha in front of him is no less courageous than the one who stood against Emet-Selch in the First, who took charge during a crisis and saved many lives. One might confuse him at first for unassuming and bookish but Amal knows the truth.]

Even this is helping me. [He pauses.] What I wanted to ask your help with is... essentially what we're doing right now.

[Which he realizes sounds absolutely insane, so he tries to explain.]

I have trouble with touch, you see. One of my good friends suggested that I find someone I like and ask them to hold my hand so that I would get used to it... I'm not uncomfortable in any way at the moment and I never have been, not with you, but uninvited contact of any kind is... it's different.

You've probably seen them—the scars on my back. Or maybe you didn't want to look for too long. I know they look painful but they don't hurt anymore. [He glances to the side.] I kept escaping so eventually the merchants sent me to the pleasure barges, where I trained to be a courtesan. After a while I decided I didn't want to play along anymore. They thought they could beat me into submission, and when that didn't work, they sent me to scrub floors. I ran away later but the damage was done.

Thanks to all of that, it's difficult to... to be intimate. In any capacity. No matter how I act, I'm just... afraid. [He feels sheepish, and it shows in the twist of his lips.] It's taken me years to get to this point, if I'm being honest. If poor Alphy had tried to cling to me when we first met, I might have launched him into orbit.

Edited Date: 2022-11-20 02:56 am (UTC)

From:

crystallinememories

[Raha's listening carefully, and even though he can't help the surprised look on his face, he doesn't pull away at all. What Amal has been through is horrible beyond words- but if he says this is ok...]

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. That's-- I can't even imagine how hard it would have been. [Amal has been through plenty as the Warrior of Light, to the point that most people wouldn't compare the two things at all, but this aspect of him is more... personal. A fight for the self, rather than the world, and he'd be hard pressed to say which was more difficult.]

...I'm glad this is alright. And, um, of course I'll help however I can. [he's blushing a little, but, well, why wouldn't he???]

From:

thavnairian

It's just a part of my story now. [He smiles mildly.] Written on my heart just like it's written on my skin. If it wasn't causing me problems now, I would be able to move past it entirely...

[He thinks about how some of the Ishgardians had treated him, and how hard he rebelled against being put under Garlean custody, and a few other situations where he refused to be chained. Okay, so maybe he's not completely over it.

Freedom is the most important thing to him, besides his family.]

Thank you, Raha. You've always been so patient with me. [Amal owes him one. Or two, or three—just how many times has Raha saved his hide now?]

... I, uh... I didn't really have a plan outside of dinner and asking you to hold my hand, I'll admit...

[He looks at their joined hands and he blushes, too. Raha is nice and warm, but more than that, Amal trusts him absolutely. He just doesn't trust himself not to fuck it up should they ever go any further. But maybe... doing this will help? Maybe Zelos is right, and it'll help him get over the trauma.

It would be nice to be brave enough to kiss someone like Raha and not have it be part of his job, or some kind of act. It... would be wonderful.]

From:

crystallinememories

[Raha chuckles a little, giving the hand in his a gentle squeeze.] This is a good plan on its own.

[It's very peaceful like this, his tail flicking behind him in a lowkey joy. He's happy to talk more, but... he's also happy to just sit like this with Amal for a while.]

From:

thavnairian

[He's warm. Their joined hands are so warm, and Amal's cheeks and ears are warm, and part of him wants to run very fast and very far but most of him wants to stay. He just wishes this tightness in his chest would ease up a bit. Maybe some food will help.]

Could you tell me about your home? Not the one from your past, but the one you have here. How is it that you came to study in Kaisou instead of somewhere else? Did you grow up somewhere warm?

[He leans in a little, and drops his voice:]

This place is too damned cold, if you ask me. I need to know if I'm the only one suffering.

[THAT'S BECAUSE YOU NEVER WEAR CLOTHES YOU DUMB FUCK]

From:

crystallinememories

[Raha chuckles, moving one of his hands away just to fix his hair, tightening the pins that hold them. None of it was actually falling out, he just-- needed something to fiddle with. That wasn't Amal's fingers.]

Yes and no. I grew up in Cyprus, which is an island in the Mediterranean; it's really beautiful there. And plenty warm, especially during the summer. But when I was pretty young, we moved to England, and, uh. It's rather famous for not having the best weather. It's not as bad as reputation says, but it tends to be gloomy or raining more often than not. Luckily we'd go back to visit Cyprus near ever summer.

As for how I got here, that's hardly much of a story at all. My family know about the Spirit Realm and all that too, so I knew about it for a long time, and it's well known that Kaisou is much more active. And since I wanted to do research involving it, it made a lot of sense to try to go to school here.

...Even with everything else that came with it... I'm glad I did.

From:

thavnairian

[He nods as he listens, trying to imagine it with Raha's words as a guide.]

It sounds lovely there. I'm glad you were able to visit in the summer. I bet all the rain made you look forward to Cyprus more.

[It's so interesting that half the people he meets from here have some idea of what weirdness Kaisou sits on, and the other half just woke up one day with "weirdo" powers, like Ris.]

That makes sense. I think if I were in your position I would've done the same thing... I've never been good at listening to people when they say to stay away. [He meets Raha's smile with his own.] I'm glad you don't regret any of it, even though things are crazy sometimes.

Do you have siblings?

Edited Date: 2022-12-04 05:04 am (UTC)

From:

crystallinememories

It really did.

[Raha laughs a little, the smile lingering on his face. It's a little hard to stop smiling, honestly.] I can believe that.

I do. Two older sisters. I am the baby, and they make sure I never forget it...

From:

thavnairian

[He can hardly remember why he was feeling so down before they met up. It's hard to linger on those feelings when Raha is right there, being so stubbornly cute in any lighting.]

The baby of the family... [He tries to hold back a snicker, and isn't entirely successful.] I suppose you're destined to be pushed around by girls in any lifetime.

[Not that he can talk. Alisaie and Krile have certainly done their share of bullying of Amal, too.]