[Amal feels the anxiety bleed from himself, too. Seeing Raha at ease puts him at ease. This is familiar. Though Raha isn't the exact same as the Raha he traveled with, he has the same kind heart. Amal has certainly grown fond of him on his own merits.
He orders some spicy lamb and an appetizer to share, and he's still thinking of what that will taste like when he feels familiar red eyes on him. The body language is subtle, but Amal catches on. It... reminds him of a conversation, actually...]
... I'm managing. [That's not not all right, but it's clear that he's letting his walls down a little.] I've come so close to death I could taste it. And yet, to have no choice in the matter... feeling judged and powerless all over again... [He runs a hand through his hair.] It dredged up some thoroughly unpleasant memories I would have preferred to leave in the past.
[He sets that hand back down, just a fingertip's length away from Raha's. It's something of a casual invitation, or at least a gesture of solidarity. He's here.]
I imagine it was something like that for you, too. Perhaps even moreso. In the past, I never asked—I didn't ask, because I didn't want to know how much you remembered...
[He had witnessed the Exarch's last moments, and G'raha Tia had lived them. Why would he risk making them both relive that painful memory?]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-11-16 05:06 am (UTC)He orders some spicy lamb and an appetizer to share, and he's still thinking of what that will taste like when he feels familiar red eyes on him. The body language is subtle, but Amal catches on. It... reminds him of a conversation, actually...]
... I'm managing. [That's not not all right, but it's clear that he's letting his walls down a little.] I've come so close to death I could taste it. And yet, to have no choice in the matter... feeling judged and powerless all over again... [He runs a hand through his hair.] It dredged up some thoroughly unpleasant memories I would have preferred to leave in the past.
[He sets that hand back down, just a fingertip's length away from Raha's. It's something of a casual invitation, or at least a gesture of solidarity. He's here.]
I imagine it was something like that for you, too. Perhaps even moreso. In the past, I never asked—I didn't ask, because I didn't want to know how much you remembered...
[He had witnessed the Exarch's last moments, and G'raha Tia had lived them. Why would he risk making them both relive that painful memory?]